Enders game the movie…Fuck

Okay so recently I watched Enders game.

The movie was okay, but i’m a huge fan of the book.  The movie was just about two hours long and I know to time constraints they left a lot of shit out.  They had to, but I think they could have been more selective on what scenes they added or didn’t.

The movie was visually great, lot of cool looking CGI.  The acting, well Harrison Ford….Really?  Dr Jones, you should have passed on this role. You look like a bloated pastry in a jumpsuit.  Ender was okay, he played the role well enough, Ender was a little sociopath and the kid did a good job.

Okay let me break it down for you.  Ender is a third child, He has an implant in the back of his neck.  The monitor.  Where big brother can watch and listen to him grow up, discover his dingle and sport his first boner.  While they track to see if he’s this potential brilliant war mind.  Yup Ender before he sprouts pubes is found out to be such a mind.  Big brother decides to test a theory because playing with peoples lives is so in right now.  Big Brother removes his monitor and Ender promptly gets ambushed, gets a lucky shot in and then proceeds to finish this fight and every fight thereafter by repeatedly kicking said bully.

Ender is brilliant, let’s put him in Battle school

Up he goes into space.

Battle school…. Well in the book there is a lot of underage nudity implied thankfully in the movie they didn’t deem that a good thing.

Before I get into this part.  They basically want to keep Ender isolated so he’s never complacent, never lets his guard down and they really don’t want him to have friends.  Because you know peer pressure.

Now in the book Ender gets bounced around from toon to toon for various reasons and participates in all sorts of battles in the weightless battle room in the center of the station.  In the movie, he comes in as a launchie, gets assigned to a different toon and then gets his own command.  They really could have touched on this more.  In the book Ender has to make choices and descisions that lead him to win battles, in the movie it’s kinda confusing.  Oh look he saved the day once, lets give him his own command now.  Oh look his toon won a match, clearly Ender has to go to command school because he’s the fucking chosen one.

At Command school he meets Mazor Whose last name I can’t remember and don’t care enough to look it up.  Who is basically a dink to Ender, you know to keep him on his fucking toes so he can win a war for Big Brother.

So Ender gets reuinted with some of his old toon mates and buddies he did manage to make in Battle school and he commands them in some exercies, but oooh sneaky move They’re really battles, Ender is doing it!  He won the war in a very anti climatic scene.  Again visually stunning the Expected Effects were great.

One thing I had a problem with is that in the book the aliens were refered to as buggers, because well they were giant fucking bugs, they didn’t do that in the movie, because i’m sure liberal hollywood didn’t want to offend the made up race.

So many little details were overlooked that could have been put in the movie.  If you’re going to adapt a book into a movie, then make it longer.  Two hours wasn’t enough time for this 2.5 would have been better or even 3 hours.  Or better yet how about a two part series.  That seems all the rage now.

I have some more mouthing off to do about this movie, but over all it looked good, storyline could have been better and some of the acting was atrocious, but some was alright.  eh.  I give it a 6 out of a 10 on the Frosty Scale.

By the way i’m watching girls in bikinis bowl while i’m typing this.Some of them having bowling balls implanted into their chests.  Kinda hot watching them try to pivot without falling over and going tits down on the alley.

Soft core porn is so silly.

Tits out yo!

– Frosty.

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